The beginning of the rest of my life

I am now officially a former student of Texas A&M University! WHOOP! It took five long but wonderful years to get here and I am rather proud of myself. I would have rather done it in four years, but due to certain circumstances I let it go on another year. But really that last year I think is what made my life what it will be in the next few years. By delaying my classes I was able to be part of a group of girls in my special ed program that I absolutely love and know that I will keep in contact with and go on trips to see. I was able to live with Lauren for an extra year. I was able to meet and be with Nick. All of the aspects that make my life what it is today is due to being in college for five years, so I really can't complain to much about it (and thank goodness my parents don't either).

My next steps...

Right now I am looking for a teaching position in special education in Dallas. I am not very specific with which type of job I want because I am hopefully going to grad school the next year for speech pathology. Let's cover some special ed stuff so you know what I am talking about :-) The types of jobs in special ed are several. There are resource placements (mostly working with students with learning disabilities or high-incidence disabilities). There are developmental/life skills (these students have more severe disabilities, they are either mentally very low or mentally and physically low). There are behavior positions (these are the students that hit a lot and have serious anger issues). There is PPCD, this is the one I would really like, which is like the life skills/developmental but it's for 3-5 year olds. I like that age group and I think it's something I could continue for several years if I did not get into grad school. Speech Pathology is working with communication and speech issues with students in special ed, speech is a category of special education. It's a really great career because you get more one on one time with students, you have your own lessons (districts don't usually have specific programs you have to use), and just a side bonus you get paid more haha. So the plan is to teach for a year and if I get into grad school I will do that for two years and then work. If I don't get in then keep teaching. Oh, another great thing about speech pathology is that I would not have to work with districts, it's something I could work with other programs. I could also work part or full time (this is of course for whenever I have kids). So really it has so many positives that I don't know why I wouldn't do it :-) Also, if I get into UTD, which is right down the road, I will live at home.

Family Issues--

As those that read my blog know, my mother has cancer again. This time it's lung cancer. She has four masses in her left lung and diaphragm at the moment. The largest one is 5 cm at the top of her left lung. This past Friday all of her new doctors had a meeting to decide if they are going to cut first or do chemo/radiation first. We will find out the answer at 2pm today. I, of course, am not a doctor or specialist but I am kind of hoping they do the chemo first because if they cut they will most likely have to take out her whole left lung and if they do chemo first they might be able to save part of it if it goes down. It's all a waiting game right now. I have volunteered to take my mom to her treatments this summer. I know it's going to be hard to handle emotionally, but I know I can do it and my mom deserves to have us take care of her because she's been taking care of us for so long. So by doing this I am not going to work at my Dad's office, because it's not going to just be taking her to treatments, it's going to be taking care of the house, the dogs, my dad, trying to feed her and what not. When she does the chemo it will be the most evasive kind that they have, which is the kind she had last time when she had sores that made her mouth and throat bleed and she could barely walk anywhere because she was so weak. So needless to say, I will be taking care of her.

On to the older sisters. I will never understand their thought processes. Ever. What has transpired over the past few weeks has made me give up on them. There is a lot of history there that would be to long and depressing to cover right now, but just know that there has been 23 years of trying to understand and have them appreciate me and I am tired of trying. One thing I have learned in my short life so far is that I need to learn which people I should put my efforts into. People that give back to you and show that they love and appreciate you are the ones you should keep around, and my older sisters are not those people. I have been doing some weeding out the past year, with not living near most of my friends it is definetly hard to keep up with everyone. This is when I really realized which people I need to keep my efforts with and others that kind of slip into my past. Not meaning that they were not important in that part of my life, but sometimes people are just there for portions of your life. Although I was very upset at first with my sisters (older not younger), I actually feel much better now. Even lighter, I know that I might have to see them often since they are family (but due to how they are treating everyone else in the family I don't know how much longer that will be or how often) but at least I have cut those strings that always tug and break my heart. I have released them from having to show or give me anything.

The grandparents are great. I mean they are getting old but they are grandparents. It really meant a lot to me to have them here this week and I hope they know that.. I am going to have to send some letters. :-)

This Summer..

This summer promises to be an exciting, challenging, memorable adventure. My mom and I plan on going to several museums in Dallas and festivals because I have lived there my whole life and never go to any of that stuff, and that's just silly. I have my new AWESOME camera...


which means that I am going to start learning how to use it and take some freaking awesome pictures. I am thinking about doing the Project 365 where you take a picture every day and post it on your blog, I got the wonderful idea from Lauren and Brent. It doesn't always have to be pictures of you, actually most of the time it isn't. It's a picture that summarizes your day. We shall see I am contemplating it. :-)

Harry Potter...

I am on the 7th book right now and it's freaking amazing. I can't believe it took me this long to read the books, they are amazing. Althought I will be sad when I finish because they will obviously be over. J.K. Rowling did an amazing job and I really hope she makes up another world soon because I love the ease of the books and how I can escape into the wizarding world so easily.

Few last notes....

I know this post was crazy long but a lot has been going on. I kept delaying posts because they were going to be extremely negative because I have been rather upset lately, which I know is understandable. But I will probably be keeping these posted more regularly (so they are not so long) because I found out people actual read my blog! haha very exciting :-)

Also wanted to say thank you to all of my friends and especially Nick for being there for me over these past few weeks and I know the months to come because I won't be able to get through them without yall. Love you!