So I watched Gone with the Wind again the last few days (due to the super long length of the movie) and got a completely different perspective. In high school (side note: I watched the movie in high school on VHS because my Grandma just wouldn't stop until I watched the movie haha) I hated the movie. I thought what kind of movie goes on for that long and doesn't have a happy ending? If they were made for each other why didn't they work through their problems. Well, SEVERAL years later I watch the movie again and my eyes are open to see what I feel the movie was about. You have this chick, Scarlett who is the rudest, most selfish GIRL whom does not care at all about honor and chivalry who gets what is coming to her. She treats everyone around her horribly and in the end she is alone. Due to recent events I love this ending. I am rather, well, pissed off at God right now for what has been happening in my life. I am a good person, I work hard, I try to always do the right thing, I'm a good friend, daughter and now wife and yet horrible crap keeps happening. It's like when we were going through the cancer treatments and every time something good happened right around the corner something bad. Not just with cancer, that just seemed like my last two years have been. Don't get me wrong I completely understand that I have had amazing things happen. I found and married my soul mate, my mom was able to live until my wedding, I found a school that I absolutely love and love the staff and students even more. I have started figuring out how I want the rest of my life to look. I know all of those things and I remind myself of them all the time (cue in "Favorite Things" from the Sound of Music). It's just hard when the other parts, the hard parts just seem to weigh me down more. The point is, it was nice to see in the movie how good things happened to good people and bad things happened to bad people (yes I know not for all characters just go with me on this). It was very black and white to me in Scarlett's case and sometimes it's just nice to see things that clearly. Would be wonderful if life was that way, but then again we wouldn't see the blues, greens, purples, yellows and anything else bright and happy. You have to have the darkness to appreciate the brightness right?
Sorry for the anger in this post... I didn't realize that was all going to come out. Thanks for reading folks.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Moving On
It's time to stop having a pity party and get on with some stuff that I have been wanting to do. One thing is to work through The Cake Doctor's cookbook. I am actually really excited about that because I haven't baked anything since we moved in May, which is just unheard of from me. So get ready for some pictures soon (hopefully).
Working out. I have a new rule. I have to work out three times a week. If I work out more than that, that's great but I can not work out fewer. I choose three because that's what all the doctor people say. I actually started that last week and I'm on my way this week with two so far. So I'm pretty proud of myself. I have been doing weights, and really working hard at it and then 30 minutes on the step climber thinger. Once Steven starts classes at UTD I am going to start taking classes at 24 Hour while he's at class! I'm pretty excited about that because I've never taken a class before.
Eating at home. Eating right just kind of goes with that but this summer I have been at my dad's house so much that we have only cooked at our apartment (other than grilling with friends) a handful of times. This is going to save us a TON of money, not only in food but also gas of us going to the restaurant! :-)
Walking the dogs more once the weather isn't so stinkin' hot. I used to do this all the time but this summer has been so hot and it's been so crazy I haven't been able to, which has been ok with them since they got to play over at Dad's so much but now that work is starting up so they will definitely need a nice walk but I like having that quiet time.
Being crafty! I have been crafty lately for Rachel's shower (post about that at the end of Nov. after the shower) and it really makes me want to scrapbook and DIY everything in the world! I have everything for the scrapbooks I just need time haha but I think I am going to do the bridals and rock the frock first because those aren't really thinking scrapbooks just putting cute stuff together.
Side note about being crafty: http://pinterest.com is the best freakin website ever! You pin pictures to boards and it also keeps the link so if you find something online you like (or want to make) you can put it on one of your boards and keep it forever! I absolutely love it! Plus for photography stuff it's nice to keep pictures on there to have as references and you can keep them on the go.
Another side note: I've decided I'm not going to be a professional photographer. I have just gone over what a photographers life will be like and that isn't the picture I have in mind for our future. They work on the weekends, for pretty much the whole weekend, and of course Steven and the kids will have their time off on the weekends. And I don't want to miss anything, my mom was there for EVERYTHING and that meant so much to me and I want to do that for my kids. Sooo my new plan is to work until we have kids (hopefully start trying around 28 or so) and then stay home. Maybe be a craft blogger or something. I still want to learn more about my camera and be able to take great pictures of the family and friends, like I would still love to take pictures of people, they just won't ever be as good as a professional.
Learn how to sew. Steven's Granny is an amazing seamstress and she said she'll teach me. I am hoping to learn how to make quilts as well as little kid clothes and little stuff that would be super cute.
Does anyone have any ideas about how I could make money while I stay home? I am crafty so I could do like banners and stuff on etsy, but I don't really know if the amount of money you have to ask for those is worth the hassle of doing it.
Well that was a very long blog about things that aren't really worth reading haha. But that is what I am working on right now and hopefully I will start feeling better with getting my life back. :-)
Working out. I have a new rule. I have to work out three times a week. If I work out more than that, that's great but I can not work out fewer. I choose three because that's what all the doctor people say. I actually started that last week and I'm on my way this week with two so far. So I'm pretty proud of myself. I have been doing weights, and really working hard at it and then 30 minutes on the step climber thinger. Once Steven starts classes at UTD I am going to start taking classes at 24 Hour while he's at class! I'm pretty excited about that because I've never taken a class before.
Eating at home. Eating right just kind of goes with that but this summer I have been at my dad's house so much that we have only cooked at our apartment (other than grilling with friends) a handful of times. This is going to save us a TON of money, not only in food but also gas of us going to the restaurant! :-)
Walking the dogs more once the weather isn't so stinkin' hot. I used to do this all the time but this summer has been so hot and it's been so crazy I haven't been able to, which has been ok with them since they got to play over at Dad's so much but now that work is starting up so they will definitely need a nice walk but I like having that quiet time.
Being crafty! I have been crafty lately for Rachel's shower (post about that at the end of Nov. after the shower) and it really makes me want to scrapbook and DIY everything in the world! I have everything for the scrapbooks I just need time haha but I think I am going to do the bridals and rock the frock first because those aren't really thinking scrapbooks just putting cute stuff together.
Side note about being crafty: http://pinterest.com is the best freakin website ever! You pin pictures to boards and it also keeps the link so if you find something online you like (or want to make) you can put it on one of your boards and keep it forever! I absolutely love it! Plus for photography stuff it's nice to keep pictures on there to have as references and you can keep them on the go.
Another side note: I've decided I'm not going to be a professional photographer. I have just gone over what a photographers life will be like and that isn't the picture I have in mind for our future. They work on the weekends, for pretty much the whole weekend, and of course Steven and the kids will have their time off on the weekends. And I don't want to miss anything, my mom was there for EVERYTHING and that meant so much to me and I want to do that for my kids. Sooo my new plan is to work until we have kids (hopefully start trying around 28 or so) and then stay home. Maybe be a craft blogger or something. I still want to learn more about my camera and be able to take great pictures of the family and friends, like I would still love to take pictures of people, they just won't ever be as good as a professional.
Learn how to sew. Steven's Granny is an amazing seamstress and she said she'll teach me. I am hoping to learn how to make quilts as well as little kid clothes and little stuff that would be super cute.
Does anyone have any ideas about how I could make money while I stay home? I am crafty so I could do like banners and stuff on etsy, but I don't really know if the amount of money you have to ask for those is worth the hassle of doing it.
Well that was a very long blog about things that aren't really worth reading haha. But that is what I am working on right now and hopefully I will start feeling better with getting my life back. :-)
Woman's Best Friend
Hello! Well, I had planned on posting this at the beginning of July but time flies.
During the first few weeks after mom died everyone was amazing and tried to say everything they could think of that would comfort me, would hug me when I wanted one (and some when I didn't haha) and would offer to just be with me. I want to say I appreciate all of it and I seriously can not express how much it meant to me for you, my friends, to be there for me. And I don't want what I'm about to write to make you think I didn't completely appreciate everything.
The title says it all. The dogs somehow just helped me get through it. It's like they knew something was wrong and I needed something to brighten my day. It's like they knew I didn't want to talk, I just wanted someone to cuddle with, and apparently get licked to death haha. I guess that's really all I have to say about that. :-)
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