The Odds and Ends

There is nothing specific I wanted to write about in this post. Just thought I would give an update on my life right now.

The past two weeks have been very difficult. My Meme, Papa and Aunt Carla were in town, which made things a little stressful. I love them very much but seeing as I have to do most of the stuff around the house it was a lot of extra work. Also, Meme and Papa just don't really understand what Mom is going through. She pushed herself a lot that week to do stuff but they just don't get why she is so tired and that she doesn't feel well. They just don't cope with it very well. That Thursday was my Mom's birthday. We had 16 people at the house so it was a little crowded, but nice to see everyone.



That is a picture, obviously, of my Mom and I on her birthday. Holidays are really hard lately because I don't know if it will be the last one with my mom. 4th of July for some reason was really hard on me, all I could think about was that she might not be there to watch the parade next year. On a positive note for her birthday I gave Erin and Jay their wedding present and they loved it. :-) I made them a scrapbook of their dating time and it also included all of the wedding stuff. They said it was the best wedding present they got so that made me really happy. :-)

Last week... oohhhhh last week... My mom was very depressed from everything going on plus my Meme and Papa left early. I don't really want to say on here specifically what happened, but it was bad and it was heart breaking (if you want to know just call me, I just don't want to write it on here for anyone to see). It seems that this week is looking better so hopefully we are on the up.

I GET TO SEE NICK THIS WEEKEND!!! I am EXTREMELY excited because I am going to College Station to see him and then Saturday we are going to Houston to see The Producer's (it's my anniversary present :-)). I am really excited because although I LOVE seeing him here in Dallas, we don't have a lot of alone time because he wants to see his family as well (which is of course a good thing-- just saying the reason for why we don't have a lot of alone time here). I'm also going to be helping him move ANNNNDDDDD I get to see Lauren!!! We are having dinner Mon. night. This promises to be a WONDERFUL weekend.

I have been trying to get prepared for my classroom. I feel like I am way behind but I know I am ahead. It's just the perfectionist in me coming out. I am REALLLY excited though!!! I know it will be stressful, but it's finally here. I have been waiting about 7 years for this. To have my own classroom, and it's almost here!!! :-)

That's it for now I guess. Just wanted to do a little update. I hope all of you are doing wonderfully. I miss each of you terribly.

Journal Time

I have decided that I need to start a journal. Usually the blog would be enough to get out what I am thinking, but lately I have been having a lot of rough days and I don't really want to put all of that negative energy on my blog (or on my "readers"). I have been trying to find different ways to deal with my stress and depression. I have started doing acupuncture, I walk the dogs for an hour to an hour and a half a day, I try breathing exercises, I always keep myself busy but I am still not being able to control it as well as I would like (there in lies the problem... control). So I think I am going to start a journal. I found my old one that helped me get through Martin and I's break up so I think I will just continue with that one. It helped a lot last time so hopefully it will help again. :-)

Also, I am really starting to stress about teaching. I just had all of these things that I wanted to do beforehand to prepare myself better and I haven't done any of them (I started yesterday). I know that life gets in the way, it's just really hard for me to not give over 100% to something, and right now I feel like I haven't. I know that technically it hasn't started yet, but well, you know me, always want to be prepared. So it is full stem ahead!

On a happier note! I get to have a sleepover with Rachel this weekend and I am CRAZY excited about it! We haven't been able to hang out or even talk much in about a month so it will be great to catch up! :-)

ps HARRY POTTER WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

My Legacy

I have decided that next summer I am going to begin a project I like to call My Legacy. With everything going on with my mom and talking with my grandparents about their childhoods and where are ancestors are from, I realized that I want my kids and grandchildren to know everything about me. And heaven forbid I pass away before I am old and gray, they will have something to read that gives them not only information on my life but advice. Like tell my kids about my first relationship (the highs and all of the lows), how they should save their money (especially in high school), they should travel as much as possible, that it isn't just a cliche statement to judge a person by who they are on the inside, to teach them that your size does not matter but your health does. I feel like I have already learned a lot in my short life and I want to write it all down. I think it will be nice to look at it when (hopefully) I am old and start forgetting these early years. And I want my kids to know me, because let's face it, most kids when they are teenagers don't really try to get to know who their parents are. I have this project I am doing for Christmas with my Grandma (I can't say exactly what it is because Amanda reads my blog and she is getting the present but if you want to know send me a text) that will hopefully shed even more light on my Grandma and other ancestors history. For example, I have a great great great grandmother (maybe another great in there??) that was a nurse in the Civil War (for the south of course.. uh oh) and met all of these generals and was given prestigious awards for her service in the war. Just these little things I think really let us know about ourselves. I really think it's important to know where you come from to help you know where you are going. And with the My Legacy project I hope to be able to show my kids where they came from.

Jenniferology

Rules: Read it and fill it out :-) haha

FOODOLOGY:
What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch Fat-Free
What is your favorite sit down restaurant? hummmm Roadhouse?
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Domino's
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? ice cream
What are your pizza toppings of choice? cheese and more cheese
How many televisions are in your house? 4... but that's because 2 are not working right now bc they were so old they are not digital.. so soon it will be 6
What color cell phone do you have? black iPhone with a black and clear cover (why is this in the foodology part??)

BODYOLOGY:
Are you right-handed or left-handed? right
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? the 5 piercings I had haha
What is the last heavy item you lifted? glass water bowl for the dogs

BULLCRAPOLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? no, from what is going on now I think it's best to just live every day like it is your last day
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I wouldn't. My name is the name my mom had planned out since she was a little girl. I am the Jennifer Marie she has always wanted :-)
How many pairs of flip-flops do you own? umm a good amount, but I only wear my A&M ones
Last person you talked to? Nick :-)
Last person you hugged? My mom

FAVORITOLOGY
Season? Fall
Holiday? I don't think I have a particular one, I enjoy them all
Day of the week? Saturday.. it's the day I try to make myself relax
Month? April so far. There are usually a lot of events going on and my birthday is that month

CURRENTOLOGY
Missing someone? NICK!!!!
Mood? aggravated
What are you listening to? DAMN FOX NEWS (can you tell I'm annoyed?? Papa -my grandfather- is a wonderful conservative like my father and likes to make comments the whole time that annoy the heck out of me, but as another side note: he doesn't know I am a Democrat. And he never will.. love my Papa to death but there is NO way I would want to have a political discussion with him)
Watching? see above
Worrying about? hahahahhahahah ummm Mom, grandparents, Dad's health, the dogs, becoming a teacher, my students, my health (I am now having back problems), long distance with Nick and the list goes on and on :-)
First place you went this morning? walked the dogs for an hour (short walk today)
What's the last movie you saw? The Proposal! WAAYYY CUTE
Do you smile often? I try :-)

MEOLOGY
If you could change your eye color what would it be? I wouldn't
What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I don't haha
Do you own a digital camera? haha yes, I have a SLR Canon Digital Rebel T1I as my fancy camera and then a Panasonic for a point and shoot
What's on your wish list for your birthday? pots and pans for my future apartment
Can you do push ups? yes
Can you do a chin up? not well
Does the future make you more nervous or excited? definitely excited, if you aren't excited about your future than you should change it :-)
Car wreck? unfortunately yes, more than one
Do you have an accent? yes, everyone does, just matters where you go haha
When was the last time you cried? today
Plans tonight? reading Harry Potter and attempting to sleep
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? yes
Name 3 things you bought yesterday? pants for teaching, yogurt, and ranch mix for dinner
Have you ever been given roses? yes
Met someone who changed your life? several
How did you bring in the New Year? with a wonderful night with Nick
Name three people who might complete this? Sarah, Lauren and Lara?? PLEASE :-)
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? yes, I would love to see many historical events (man where is that DeLorean when I need it!)
Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? several actually
Does anyone love you? yes
What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't sing in the radio.. it would just be mean to those around me ;-)
Do you like to cuddle? whenever my love is around!
Have you held hands with anyone today? nope
Who was the last person you took a picture of? the family on the 4th
Are most of the friends in your life new or old? newish, from college
Do you like pulpy orange juice? I like McDonald's orange juice.. does that have pulp?
What is something your friends make fun of you for? what do my friends not make fun of me for?? haha ummm Nick makes fun of the fact that I cut up my steak right when I get it
What is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? last weekish- we took them to Hurricane Harbor with us
What were you doing 12 AM last night? laying in bed
What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? swimming.. I had a dream about swim team and I hadn't had one of those in a long time!


I hope you enjoyed Jenniferology time :-) PLEASE fill it out! It will be fun to read everyone's posts!

Honest Scrap

I have been instructed by my beautiful, wonderful friend Sarah to do the Honest Scrap Award thinger.

The Rules:
1. Tell your readers 10 things that are true that they might not know.
2. Tag 10 other bloggers to do the same. (I am skipping this step since Sarah tagged everyone that I know that reads my blog! haha)

My Top 10:

1. I am COMPLETELY excited to begin my job! I know I should probably be terrified, but the fear has not set in yet. I am only thinking about how I have been waiting for this day for six years.. I finally get my own classroom and I get to inspire children's lives! I have told myself over and over again that as long as I make a difference in one child's life then my teaching career will be worth it. So here's to making a difference!

2. I actually completely love the Twilight series. I try to down play it but they were my first "romance" type novels and I enjoyed them immensely.

3. "Working out" is the best way for me to relieve stress. I have been walking the dogs for about an hour and a half pretty much every day to help with my stress and to hopefully get myself to sleep at night (doesn't always work). I like to run on the treadmill but only if I am watching a t.v. show that I can concentrate on. ALSO I was able to actually run (well running for me) an entire mile and a half without slowing down! I was rather proud of myself.

4. I am always trying to find ways to improve myself. What I am working on now: not thinking the worst will always happen. I tend to do that, especially with the men in my life. I never think they are going to do the right thing, which is not fair for them and something they do not deserve. So I am working on being a better person in that matter.

5. One of my dream trips is to travel the east coast. I LOVE history and want to stop at all the little museums and churches and see the history of our amazing country. This is a little bittersweet because my mom and I had planned on doing this trip together one summer. But I have made a promise to myself that I will do this trip no matter what. It's what she would want.... on to something a little lighter :-)

6. I continually design my future apartment in my head because I am in a designing mood and don't have anything to design! (Although I do have that painting I have been meaning to paint for over a year now...)

7. I love to paint. I found this out when I was painting pottery for Christmas presents. This makes me tied to my father's side because my entire Dad's side were painters or opera singers. It makes me feel connected to the people I am connected to but have never met.

8. I love to take care of people. This is one of my best and worst personality traits. It makes people like to be around me but sometimes it means I get taken advantage of. Although, I am the one that allows them to do this (another thing I am working on.. standing up for myself). I think this is one of the main characteristics that made me want to be a teacher. I have always wanted to take care of people, and who better to take care of then children?

9. I LOVE musicals, plays as well, but definitely musicals. I try not to miss any of the Dallas Summer Musicals (it's the Broadway musicals on tour). They make me come alive. Here's a secret about me: I would absolutely love to be in a musical. I, of course, would be awful because I can not sing and I get nervous in front of crowds. But when I listen to the soundtracks I always picture myself on stage and being able to make people feel the way I do when I watch musicals. (another family trait?) I would also love to be a dancer. I don't think this one is as far off because I have pretty good rhythm and my mom said I was good in my lessons when I was younger (we didn't have the money for me to continue). This is why I want to start taking dance lessons, never to late right?

10. I want to make a difference in the world. I don't know if you know that about me. But I have always wanted to make a positive mark in everyone that I meet. That damn song from the 3day Breast Cancer walk (which btw I have decided not to do this year anymore due to I would not make it emotionally for those three days but I will be cheering Rachel and her team on!) makes me cry every time because well the cancer stuff, please it is saying what I am always thinking. I want to make a difference in the world. When I leave this awful, beautiful planet I want people to remember all of the things I did to make it better. It doesn't have to be changing the whole world. Just being a good friend, making a difference in a child's life, being a daughter that made them proud, being a sister that is always there for them, being a mother and wife (if I get to that point) that they knew they could always count on and that loved them. These are the things that I think make a difference in the world. The big exorbitant things done such as trying to cure cancer or hunger in the world are obviously very important but for most people the difference they make will be in the little every day things that make them important and change peoples lives. That's what my mom has done for me and I hope I can do that for others... well look at that.. getting all emotional again. :-)

I will leave you with the lyrics to the song I was just discussing.

It's by Lady Antebellum called: "I Was Here"

You will notice me
I'll be leavin' my mark, like initials carved in an old oak tree
you wait and see
maybe I'll write like Twain wrote
maybe I'll paint like Van Gough,
cure the common cold
i don't know but I'm ready to start cuz i know in my heart

I wanna do something that matters
say something different
something that sets the whole world on it's ear
i wanna do something better, with the time I've been given
and i wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
and leave nothin less that something that says i was here

I will prove you wrong
if you think I'm all talk, your in for a shock
cuz this streams too strong, and before too long
maybe I'll compose symphonies
maybe I'll fight for world peace
cuz I know it's my destiny to leave more than a trace of myself in this
place

And I know that I, I will do more than just pass through this life
I'll leave nothin less that somethin that says I was here, I was here, I
was here, I was here

Wanna do somethin that matters
somethin that says I was here
wanna do somethin that matters
somethin that says I was here, I was here




Also something to ponder: What will you leave behind?

My wonderful boyfriend :-)

The title of this post is my excuse for why I have not written a post in so long. Wisconsin was wonderful! I met all of Nick's Mom's side (btw she has six siblings and I met all of them!--well except one but that's bc he isn't invited to stuff) and we had a lot of relaxing time! We were at the cabin by the lake all week and people from the family came to us there. We played games and I read Harry Potter while Nick played with his iPhone. I also got to know his sisters and mom better and it was a wonderful experience. I really feel like I am better able to understand Nick by spending time with his family. And btw I love all of them. They always make me feel welcome and that would feel amazing at any time but especially right now it means a lot. It was a really great week all in all :-)

I came back home and I have pretty much been hanging out with Nick and trying to get things in order. I picked out my insurance plan and I'm going to go sign up for it tomorrow. I made a to do list for the rest of the summer that includes all the little projects I need to get done (scrapbook that needs to be finished, organizing my file folders, creating a budget, organizing the attics etc.). That made me feel better because as long as I stick to it I will be able to finish everything I want to before school starts.

For Nick and I's one year anniversary he got me tickets to any play or musical I wanted to go to. :-) (which btw, he could not have picked a better present) We were going to try to go to Wicked but it was sold out so we are going to see The Producers in Houston on Aug. 1. I am REALLY excited about this because I saw the movie and thought it was HILARIOUS! Plus I think it's something Nick will like.

Last week I went to the doctor because I thought I might have an ear infection but it turns out I have TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint (TMJ) Syndrome). It has to do with my jaw and lower parts of my ears and is caused by grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw. This is of course due to stress. Luckily the doctor I went to is my mom's doctor so I didn't have to explain why I was stressed. She gave me some extra strength advil type pill to help if the pain continues (it still hurts--but not as bad so that's good :-)). Just as a side note to anyone that is worried, I have only taken it once. I am really trying to not get on any pills for sleeping or depression because I know they are addictive and I am trying more healthy ways such as working out (which helps my stress A LOT) and talking with people. For the sleep I try to pretty much not stop all day so that I can sleep at night. It works most of the time. :-) Back to about my TMJ, I also went to the dentist to get a mouth guard for when I sleep so that I stop grinding at night. Although, something I thought was kind of ironic: the mouth guard cost $800 (my parents don't have dental insurance)-- and that's supposed to help me with stress? ooooo the irony :-) I have also been having a lot of stomach problems (which has always happened when I am stressed). She said to take some Metamucil and I got some pink lemonade flavored kind today so hopefully that works. :-)

I got an iPhone!!! I was planning on buying one as a "hooray you have a job!" present with my first pay check but my parents bought Amanda one (the cheaper one) so I asked if they would buy me one (I got the 32GB) and she said they would pay for half! Hooray!! I am VERY excited to have one and am looking forward to using it when I am out... I guess I need to start going out more than ;-) Oh, and I am thinking about getting a lens now with my first pay check.. I am just to set on buying myself a nice present hehe.

I have been able to see my sped friends a good amount this summer and that makes me really happy. :-) We are planning a big trip in Sept. to go to League City (where three of us are) to hang out at the beach and talk about our first few weeks of being teachers!

I am really loving the time I am at in my life. Granted my mom being sick right now is not great. But I am at a place in my life where I really begin the rest of my life. How I decide to react to these situations, what I decide to do with my time is really, I think, how I will respond to situations the rest of my life. I am putting off a few things until after my first year of teacher. Just because this year will be very stressful with trying to figure out my classroom and things at home. But after that I really do want to take classes in photography and join clubs and things to make new friends (not that I don't absolutely LOVE my friends now!) and expand my knowledge of what I am good at. Every time I watch So You Think You Can Dance? I always think if I could have been a great dancer. My mom said I was really good when I was younger (we didn't have the money for me to continue). But I think that is something I would have been really good at, and maybe that would have helped me with crowds? But there is no use looking in the past, my plan for the future is to take dance classes. :-) I am hoping to find an adult dance studio around here to join a contemporary or pop dance classes. Nick said he would do dance classes with me too :-) (which I am CRAZY CRAZY excited about!!!!) so I will save ballroom and salsa and all of that for when he moves here (next May).

My plan is also to be better about calling my friends (and you can call too ;-)). Due to being out of town and Nick being here I feel like I haven't talked to them in a long time and I feel bad about that because I want to know what everyone is up too! So don't be shy and give me a call! :-)

My classroom stuff is coming together. I am going to call my principal soon to ask if I can go into my classroom a week before the new teachers start their seminars because I would love to have a few days to completely organize my classroom and get everything (as in where things go) before my paraprofessional gets there. A paraprofessional is my aid in my classroom. I will have one paraprofessional and I really hope they like me but they are going to have to deal with the fact that I am going to make them work hard for every penny they make. :-)

I talked with Amanda, my contact for the car accident I was in (the first one... the one that totaled my Explorer). And everything is starting to wrap up which is really good since I am going to be asking for quotes for car insurance soon. One thing she told me that I didn't know they did was that they are giving me $750 for the pain and suffering I have gone through! So I am pretty crazy about that. I am hoping Dad is going to be nice and let me keep it. :-) I know he is the one paying for insurance, but it's my back, head and knee that was hurt.. right? ;-) So I am thinking that money plus the couple hundred from my first pay check will be get me a VERY nice lens. Although I would have to do research for that. And I just don't know if I have time for that. If anything it will go very well in my savings account until I need/want it. :-)

Well I think that is a good amount of information of what I have been up to. :-) Sorry it's so long, but well it's me, do I ever keep it short? I REALLY hope you are doing well and please call me to chat if you want to hear more or just want to talk to me. :-) If you are reading this than I am sure you are one of the people I miss. Love yall!!!